My Affirmation

young black girl swayin’…

caughtUp In each slight catch,

in the comfort breezes of Her Winds,

tappin’ & clappin’…singin’ to foreign beats,

feeling the beaT. beaT. beaT-ing rhyThms,

throughout every ounce of My Be-In…

flowin’ of Ancient rivers untold,

before Eye knew who Eye was,

certainly before Eye knew what the feelin’s were,

persuadin’ Her Winds to speak & melodize through

in haromonies & cadences….

rockin’ & movin’ to the Spirits & Hidden sounds of Her vibrations…

done.  

All InSide My body & soul flow- In….

withIn …

Boom!...Boom!..b.boom!

….as “They” whispered & watched….the grown-ups did

…the “lil black gal”

….assuming She was pretend---ing

Yet, she never stopped Her mov---ing

following to the caDences…

….with the beaT--ing…..melodies that carried Her heart

DeePer than DeeP…..inTo DeeP

The thrumMing of in My stePs

kept me moving

through continuous life’s combats…

fighting the every day’s ways of a society wrath

with their undercover missions to suppress

& some’s unconscious reality, of their own mental inhibitions

attempts to force death on My Root’s Wealth!

Boom! b.b..boom!

of the drums never-ending, beautifully in the distance…

ohhhh So close, in tempo with My Soul

Again & Again

Our Ancestors remind Me….. They’ve been Here from My Start

BOOM!!!

“In the light that only You saw…..in the belly fires You feel & were told to quench….

in the dreams You were taught to not to tell, by those who remain

under the slave masters spell.” 

….booooM. b.booooM. taP. booM!

(& the melodies flow through my soul…again & again)

“You will stand & flow like the Ancient River Nile,

running through Our One Soul,

the source of water & fertility….

You knew when they mocked Thee….

You knew when You seeked Thee….

You knew when You listened and found…..

as You have returned, You flowww,

ever unpredictable & undetermined,

nourishing the culture divided,

because, through the waters of Mami “We” are found

One.

in the rhythm Her waves, as You

as You flow withIn,

as the One beat of Our Heart’s drumMing….

You felt Your beginning before You began this journey…

As You are We

We are One

You ~Will~….Flow

of the Truth”

© 11/5/12 Copyright LeTisha.Woods

& the Walls Come Tumblin' Down

….my folk! you quite theater doe’

presentin’ yurs a mesmerizin’ sho’,

they all reminiscing ‘bout stable careers, childhood dreams,

of romance scenes,

‘fo adulthood kicked dey asses into real  Awaken-ings,

& true horror stories b’came realities;

some choose ta watch yo movies, scene afta’ scene,

as if, dem sho’s in demselves, would fulfill dey dreams

while otha’s fully conscious of da bullshit you spit,

ta keep one captured, wit yo chain, ball, & trin--kets

smooth as a gentle, summa’s breeze, as yo mouth flo swept our minds, 

simultaneously it cut raza-blades into our souls,

our struggles, weren’t the fairytales you tol’

yo appealin’ ol’ happily eva-after’s,

& dey lived happily eva- after’s,

it ain’t da truth of da lives we wish fo’-

t’ain’t tales of da shed tears, of the workin’ po’!

t’ain’t da truth of our disembodied ancient ancestors soul’s cryin’

fuh ign’ance ta set our minds free!!

let’s tell’t like’t is “my” folk…for da love of you!!

da facts of dis life

dat we livin’

…ain’t cutting no deals

…it’s time ta get real,

while you swag’n suave’, wit yo hella-dip,

Kangol hat tipped to da side,

cigar smellin’ sweet….you like a rat,

spewin’ a cavity-filled, mouth full of lies;

to yo own fam …

freedom- searchin’ souls….

not truly givin’ a damn ‘bout our goals,

only how many of “our”dolla bills you can fold…

Carin’ less of whose mind’s or spirit’s you’ve sold

ta ya new massa, fuh today’s get rich quick scheme…

sellin’ yo’ stage play, over-nite quick-fixes to yo’ own folk,

even tho, ya don’t believe in ya own joke no mo….

spuing false hope, hidin’ the soul you lost to anotha form of coke

flashin’ yo’ wand….feedin’ hisStory’s miracles out yo’ magic can,

at da cost of anyone’s energy, dat will ride on yo desert land

compensated smiles,

you beginnin’ to know yo err’, yet know no way out…

continuin’ ta nourish yo people wit da ign’ance until we all in drought,

instead of spillin’ yo Awaken-ing…

da deceptions….da lies

learnin’ yo’self…

teachin’ da way ta self-education

                                     self-preservation

                                   self-motivation……self-love.

Free Truth!!!

but at da cost of a few bucks & our soul’s health,

Resurrection …..ReBirthin’ of a nation,

you bring us death.

rather kill yo family, than ta uplift & save even yo own lousy soul,

fa pieces of temporariness, that ain’t even yo own.

The ever……Our inheritance….Ours

tryna seekin’ the truth…

turning the pages of destroyed, with a fine toothed-comb,

while you lovin’ some impermanent specks of gold, nice car, hella-home…..

at the cost of climbing yo’ masters ladder,

a lil’ pocket clitter-clatter,

my love, just a message of wisdom

…..soon as ya step out of line….

rock bottom gon’ sound mo’ like a thuDDah

We’re watching in despair, but…..

We’ll be lookin eye to eye again Pretender…

My Brotha’s..…My Sistah’s Keeper..….My People’s Slow Killer…..

And We’ll say….

 “So glad You’re Awake, You can take your mask off now, You’re back home…

    let’s get to work, there’s progress being made here… We’ve been building.”

©LeTisha.Bowie 8/5/12

Our Shades of Black

Our Many Shades of Black" Lessons learned.... Dedicated to my Twin Sisters, & all of My Brothers & Sisters Granny 'Nora had a subliminal hatred for shades- she had a set of black grands' & a set of whites, which were the lighter shades, she raved; Grandma Clara's hatred for shades was so strong- she wished they were invisible..... emotions so durable, they caused divisions made, …between, her and the "Joy", of a grand-daughter's love, she so desperately craved; ….the birthing’s & deliverances of self-hatred & confusion, ingested by our babes, who ate of knowledge, before knowing they'd been fed, ...devouring words & worlds of Our Precious Elders, like fresh ripe plum, from "Big Mama's" plum tree… anticipating the ripening…. ....& breaking the flesh of the fruit of their wisdom; Their innermost knowing… that: Black we are- "All" ....and in "All" of Our families, we are: Light-skinned, yellow- bones, Red-bones, black, blue-black, Jet-black, dirty- red & copper-toned.... Cocoas & browns & almost whites.... .....name callings of many, and many by Our very own..... ....the pain, of the souls, of the left behind, …of the chosen, has & is obvious & obviously carried for lifetimes; ……in the shades of the songs, of Black Spirits…. Yet We are “One.” My mind recalls: An innocent child spoke, “I’m the light one, you’re the dark one,” and How could she have known? for she had been fed from supposedly wise ones…. …..the ones who chose the lighter shades, over the darker, yet, we are all black….we are all “one” Recalling Her sibling: An also, innocent child, who was the dark scorned, as she cradles that day, like it was her limb birthed….. …..& Grandma, who wished color, was non-existent…..One who preached, “You’re no better than your next brother or sister!” “Who do you think you are?” …..& Granny, who wrote letters, questioning the darkness of the color, of one’s own grand-child’s child… Scalding hot!!!…showers of confusion…. & mental slavery begins… in the minds of our children, who soon realize, they live(d) in a time, when…. you are better, the lighter you are…. the better you will be treat-ed, the brighter your skin…..the more quality you are of a being….. Children wishing for light-skinned babies, before they know the locus of their own beings!!! And so the downfall of our heritage goes! For the fear!! Of judgment! & the same pain of our ancestors! Fear of enduring & sharing their unshed tears, our babies hold fast, to what seems like the truth of endurance- And so ….the patterns of subconscious, negative, spiraling downward, into pits of depression goes on….. The brainwashing began, before we knew what it was…. birthed into young spirits, with the contractions of our Elders own sufferings, as subconscious mental protections….. …..they thought,….. As a means, to blend, with whom they thought were the “civilized ones” “Good-haired” “To birth lighter-skinned babies,” Maybe they wouldn’t suffer so much hatred. ….thinking back & remembering of those days & I know that I’m not alone…. ….my heart feels the division, caused among our bloodline, for causes that aren’t even our own….. I believe “They All” and “They Both,” wanted to protect us, but it was in ways of their very own; ….the ways they’d also been taught…….My Grandparents……Our Grandparents… It’s the venom of “our” own pain, fear, experiences & racism….. …with it came loss & still comes with loss ….that we adapt, fit in, and deal with it, no matter what the cost is … …losing the love of those that should be closest, at the start of a child’s lesson, that should never have been taught……. ….the expense has been & still is: “Our” Spirits, “Our” Smiles, “Our” Songs, and most of all “Our Love of Self!!” …..the cost is more expensive than any purchase…. Because venom is deadly!!! And for the most….. we vaccinate with “acceptance” (of what shouldn’t be accepted!!) It’s like treating a migraine, with a pneumonia medication- It doesn’t work!!! It’s like taking a placebo, to treat diabetes, and expecting your sugar to be regulated!!! You are pacified, not filled or cured and slowly die inside!!! We vaccinate, with accommodation, and “blending in” vs “standing in” …lovin’ Self in “Your Own Skin” & standing!!!- Just you!!!! Blending in….with the “Fly” external presentation….appearing so wonderful… “Blending” …carcass…. Dying within from the pain of the desire for freedom….the desire to just be ….wondering of the “Joy” to free yourself, of the internal bondage of Self- hatred!! ….freedom from the bondage of low self-esteem, which “we,” so many, still refuse to claim!!!! It is!!! When you believe changing who you are, to be pleas…ing…. ….for someone who could give a damn about your heart- About Your Soul…. About “You”!!!! And Internally, your dying daily… How would they know? Do you love yourself enough to search within You? To find the things that make You do what You do? I’d been told by my Grandma to, “Leave the past, in the past!!!!” But!! I’d have never known why she shed those tears at night…. if I would have just accepted it!!! and leave it!!!.....leave my people starving for themselves!!!!, ….Without a clue how to truly love Self!!! If I had just left it!!!! I never would have known why my mama cried at night, and why sometimes she still does!!!! If….If I would have left it…Just left the past in the past!!!!! If…I would have just left things alone….left them the way they were…the way they are….!!!! I never would have known why my daddy cried & drank himself sick, almost every day of his living life!!!! …………….If I had just left it!! I can’t!! My heart won’t let me, if I try!!! I am a seeker!!! A seeker of truth!!! It’s because, I love me, and It is because I love you!!! …that I can never just accept what I’ve lived through!!..... …which is nothing!! Compared to what Our Elders survived and died for!!! It’s because My Soul won’t lie still and digest, that accepting!!!, that the shades of our colors!!!... ….that the many shades that lie within Our Blackness, are divisions!!! I regurgitate the notion!!! ….that these forced wedges within & throughout us…that it is Our only way! It is not!!! It is not!!! And I refuse to accept the suggestions that “It’s just the way it is.” Well the way it is, don’t fly well in my wind!!! I’m here My Loves, to send you a message: ….that we are shades of many, hair textures of plenty and the diversity within our blackness, is what makes us unique, a one-of-a-kind, and Blessed people. There is no need to change for the likes of any others- Change for the love of You!!! Know Your history, so that You will know, that there’s more than enough reason to Love You!!! You & Me- We were created in the Glory of the Eyes of a Creator/tress, who makes no error….creating uniqueness in every single detail & shade, with pleasure!!!! I love Our Many Shades of Black, and without them, what color would the world be? Colorless. I said, without Our Many Shades, what color would the world be My Twin Sisters, My Brothers & Sisters!!? Without Natural, without kinky……there would be no curly…..there would be no wavy No. Without “You as created”…..What would this world be? It takes us all, to make this grand variety!! Straight. Colorless. You better look inside, ….let’s teach Our Children there’s nothing to hide!! There’s no reason, not to know where it all began, … otherwise, How can you heal & mend Your broken hearts? How can you teach, if you haven’t been taught? Love Yourself!!! Know Yourself!! Our Many Shades of Black are Beautiful!!!!! © LeTisha.Bowie 4/15/2012