Soul Protector

created a shield,

sheltering my heart

from the unwavering pain,

that heartache can bring…

of the imitations of love,

in the process, confining my will

still grounded…

I sealed

all the cracks with cement,

giving no more slack

to the feelings I’d always held back,

for the lack of reciprocity

or reception….

of my waxed love

friend, supporter, comforter, wife

peace-maker, cook, mother- through all the strife…

continuing through, in boundaries placed on my soul,

eventually, pushed me into a solitary hole…

they couldn’t comprehend the power of a Lover’ Soul,

so, unfulfilled in Self,

I still locked It down

giving what they needed…

& it didn’t stand the stormy waters

of a make-shift love nest

didn’t succeed

….caged love

so much more- Eye Am….

& I left the door shut on stipulated love,

continuing to fight the good fight per se…

with no light in sight,

no flight for my tapered wings,

I would sing….

“If I spend the rest of my life loving Me,

My Soul will be free….

because, at least I can give Me completely…La La La La.”

when there’s a gentle tug from withIn,

presenting My World a quick spin….

heart flutters & flips,

trying to figure out this feel….ing

that’s locked from the inside…

no outer entry parts….

& I begin to write….. sing more

dreamed & prayed aloud

something has a stronghold,

where no one is allowed….

the flow is pouring in fluently…

“No entrance here” I whispered

~to mySelf~

for I held no restraint

over the feelings touched with the faint-est

delicacy,

tickling my heart,

coming in like cooling water

from a summer’s spring,

lifting my burdened soul from

withIn

hell’s pit, I was liv…ing….

giving a battered Soul a kiss,

rocking My heart, embracing My pain,

blowing air under my wings,

lifting shattered hope, cracking a cemented shield,

giving this Queen a complete Love fill…

a taste of my Own medicine,

which had never been fully administered…

they weren’t equipt to handle the power

of such a love ministering….

and Soul to Soulstress fluxed & flowed

poetic Vibrations of Soul Power showed

unseen,

surreal, blooming like four season’s flowers

a divine childhood friendship,

conversating over moon wine,

about heart breaks & seeks,

what Love takes, growing together,

true Love pleasures,

Soul Vibrations & Lifetime Comforters

with eye kisses, Soul embraces,

eating Love toast & drinking Soul café’s,

over tunes of Sweet Love & Devotion….

how Divine it is,

to have my shield

knocked down from the inside out,

gaining a Deliverer, Friend, Soul Protector,

Lover & Comforter

A Man.

A King laying water down,

in a Locked Soul & a Barren Land.

© 10/18/12 LeTisha.Woods

Is it worth the Risk?

Falling in love

Images of protection

Speculations of affection

Dreams of life-long idealism

Collapsing sounds regress into a mirage

a fantasy

or maybe its my pressing this agitation

of love’s known complications

in life

in loves of all kind

the reality..

the realism that love is true,

perfection is not…

in me or you-

in the things we yearn,

as life’s journeys move on..

and we become

perfect in imperfect individuality,

as we live, as we learn…

the fantasized facts, we see are unique flaws

as we began calculating- figuring math’s laws

is it worth the risk of “falling” in love

into the “whys?”, the “whos?”, the “wheres?”, the whats?”

…that love bares?

…that we really know aren’t concerns, but questionnaires?

which we also too soon, find aren’t about love,

aren’t about “us”

but making sure someone’s home,

while the other’s out “there”

the stayin’ home sweet-keepin’,

thinkin’ they’re doing the help-meetin’,

soon reveals itself, as late night creepin’….

pillow case rose-petals awaiting his lay,

to awaken midnights, to cold beds & another day,

wilted petals still crumbling under your feet,

yet you jump to fix her breakfast hoping…

just may….be a brighter morning you will be greet-ed

kids fed,

more accepted lame excuses,

planning to rock his night in bed,

only to have her turn over,

giving you the cold shoulder instead..

you quietly shed your stale tears again,

having no idea how you ended up in this love-spin.

deciding maybe married life ain’t for you,

this is married, living single ain’t what it’s cracked up to be…

It’s a fractured egg, with its’ heart spilling a lento cry,

gonna free yourself from the shackles of liarmony…

be You, instead of who they pretend to want…

the “reality” you’ve unveiled is

they want home & the streets

the combination- both of natures beast

never resolutions or conclusions

to discussions & fussings,

they always lead to temporary fixes,

constant rewinds of the same conditions,

wishing…

you could free your mind

& love yourself enough to grab a hold

of the dreams that still rest in your soul

to be who “You” Are,

no longer playing the part,

Wives & Husbands for homes,

yet not good enough

for the All that complete love consists of

Naahh, Don’t wanna fall in love no more

Wanna be in love…

Wanna  love…

Wanna be loved…Give love

& if marriage has lost its ancient value….

If marriage has lost true love & respect, it must now be called death!

Because it will kill a Spirit.

If it takes the aspects of all that it is,

we won’t take the risk of falling.

Let us just jump into ….

Let’s just be in love.

Let the new that know,

& the old that never forgot,

fall into each other,

like a dive into the oceans embrace of Mami Wata,

losing ourselves within ourselves…

Is the risk of falling in love versus not

worth cost of happiness & freedom?

worth the cost of love itself?

Did you fall for someone, who didn’t fall for you?

Did you fall for one, who didn’t have a clue,

of what falling meant?

Of what love is?

Of what love needs?

which is all that your heart wishes to be, to do, to give, to lose,

but Its Ownself….

Did you fall, then love or did you love the fall?

What’s the risk?

Is it you?

Is it love?

because we tend to fall into the word itself,

easily speaking it,

easily falling….slipping…

easily slipping out,

of a place we were never truly devout…

falling into lust is a lot easier…..

versus imbedding & merging our hearts with

& into the person with whom we love & are willing to take life’s risk.

Let us fall into each other, for the sake of Everlasting Love.

© 8/2012 LeTisha.Woods.Bowie

Beast love for My Sistahs

“But he really loves me”

Mmm hmm…you don’t say

“he does a lot for us”

he just may

“I’m just tryin to save my faml’y”

and at what price do you pay?

“he is tryin’”

by leavin you alone every otha day?

Imma tell you what price!

Your body!

in more ways than in and out your yoni

with the milk you’re breastfeedin your babies these morals honey!

By washing their heads of common sense you should borrow

from them…

 you should gain it, so you all have a tomorrow

demand freedom, not another form of  a woman’s mental slavery

thinkin Self has to be submitted, for love to be gained

if that’s the target- hell don’t even aim

 tryin to care for yo self and kids on a po’ mans pay

allowin’ him  in and out of you, leaving who knows what in your bay

droppin in for a day, a lay, spittin’ I love you’s  and he out again

on his way

“I’ve been treated worse” you say?

Who gives a damn ?!! that means you’ll accept house play

You wanna foreva carry your broken heart’s past on a crutch

 Just because he playin the game a lil betta- I’m getting a head rush!!

Cuz he “say” he give a damn, instead of shut the hell up

And cuz every now and  then he come by,

holla at the kids and give you a feel up

Sistah getcho guts up!

You’re afraid of losing him and he’s the best you’ve eva had

don’t mean he’s the best- don’t even qualify for the test,

much less the position

It’s because you don’t know your worth and it makes my soul sad

Hell I’m  mad!!!

watchin you sitting, waiting on the petty dropplin’s of your tolerance

of the imitation of  love

hell you livin the imitation of life

hoping your boy will soon grow into  manhood

seein he aint a supporter, lover, dad, father nor friend-

he ain’t a man

can’t believe you pretennnnd-ing

to fall for his lean-trying to conceal as a stand

I’m lookin atcha bound to a quad -tied rope,

like a fiend, waiting on her next hit of dope,

even if it’s on borrowed time, and may devour your soul

jus cuz the last piece of shit was no betta than the 1st

you acceptin this cuz he roun mo often,

lilke you don’ gained surplus

stealin the rest of your joy, your power, your being

you don’t need an individual to make You!

start diving into the love of Your Inner Self!!

…the truth that You know, within the depth of Your Soul

if they ain’t for your best

You’re worth more than settlin for less

cuz you can’t expect you ain’t gon be his toy

and a boy ain’t gon’ play games with your mind-

you uphold it this way

its like a child taught no standards ….one without any rules

they do as they please…..jus as they choose

your words don’t mean a thing

 they’ve learned to play your emotions,

 like a pro on a crap table

give hugs, kisses to drown your bitchin’

flowers and candy to cover their screw ups

and you trying to think of how to butter up their burnt toast

and there you go

“It’s Ok, I know I need to better, it will get better” “We’ll be OK”

I guess you left the toast in too long,

when you were wonderin why he didn’t come home

&

Two days lata you drownin in tears

He doing shit his way, like he has for years

Same ol’ replay scratchin’ your heart

My Sistah are you ready for a raw start

Off with his ass

Find YourSelf

and a “Man” will find you

Jus cuz you been caught up with boys

and this one’s a bit better than the last

don’t give you an excuse to continue to be nobody’s ass.

It’s just a character you playin’

tryin’ to fill two roles

Ain’t a thing sweeter than the love of a Man,

who is too old to be figurin  Manhood out

waiting to seal the scratches of your heart,

from fools past

cuz He’s buried those routes

Know YourSelf

Step up into Your Inner Queendom,

you deserve more than he will ever know.

Urth Eagle

© LeTisha.Bowie 7/13/12