Deaf Ears

couldn't pay you with the last of the nickels you left me with,
to fulfill your promises
or to display some of that midnight lovin' in Day's light,
to create peace, in the world that surrounded us...
& it didn't matter what I said or did,
all of the facts & tears went ignored
& if the clues had been written in stone,
you still wouldn't have seen the house in which we dwelt,
was no longer a home,
my voice had become silent to your hearing...
deaf ears refused my voice's pleas,
as I exhaustedly beat the drums inside of your ears,
with my determination for change, hopes in your abilities
& fear of another failure,
...with confusion strong & persistence...
I listened to you say you never saw it, say you didn't know,
& man...I've had a hard time comprehending that,
with all the tears you watched flow,
now your overdue attention just doesn't stream smoothly
& as suddenly as the pounding upon your eardrums ceased,
so did my heart's bleeding,
I saw that we were merely sustaining in survival mode
& you know, even when I spelled that little bit out,
I was still the only one who understood the severity of my lost hope,
...it was when our Love was parched dry & I had nothing left to spill,
that you began wondering the reasoning for my disconnect,
proclaiming that you didn't understand & how you would swallow this huge pill,

Me?.....
Stunned by the suggestion that my hell, my loneliness, my suffering...
that my very spirit had not only been stomped, but rolled up & left orphaned,
Pain-numb...
there are no words, no expressions nor emotions you could give,
which could free this repetitive fear...
the depth of my hollowness won't allow such a reaction to be stimulated,
for another bond to have been breached...
but I listened on....I did...
knowing you knew, as well as I by the calloused scars I had revealed,
& listened myself into an ignorance of reality, for my dreams that still lived...
now perplexed by the bile released from your guts,
but unmoved & steadfast in the least,
as I'd had my own taste of disgust
there's truly nothing I'm willing to do, again...
for loneliness & weariness have pierced me through & through,
but It no longer tortures me, with questions to things I'll never know,
it's taken too much energy, & I've already began using it to rebuild my soul,
knowing it is worth every ounce of who I Am
~ “Enough”

© 10/25/2013 LeTisha.Woods

Untitled Deuce

You were…once,

one of the easiest gifts in life to set free, upon the tips of my wings,

into the wind…

until people created this unnecessary, horrific pain,

that stains souls, and replays scratched vessels in hearts,

granted taking Your infinite power…

giving You has become one of the hardest of my obstacles

there isn’t much free in this life we live…

but You-

& to You…there is no comparison to the musical breaths You sing,

performing wind tunes, that force soul’s happiness’ to drum beats from hearts,

tip-toe ballads with fingers & delicately dance with hands

to the unknown wonder the universe expels…

no, there could never be a cost for Your fine seasoning,

yet, the blind-hearted, the stone-hearted…

continue to free-ride Your lavish deliverances,

thinking pearls, gold or diamonds can somehow compare!

to Your unrivaled standing

foolishly believing, because You’re so inexplicably vast…

if they place You aside, You’ll ever remain,

regard-Less they respect You,

second guessing Your pleasure….

watching to see if You’re really this good…

as good as the side pieces of ass, that screw up homes for,

as good as the materialistic shit society flicks in the faces,

thinking lust is better than All the Divine You are…

for the temporary… they soon find won’t last,

& it’s too late…

as one looks back at glass shattered hearts,

they’d left behind,

now with super-glue-mended repairs

foolishly believing, that if they slacked at taking care of home

that….that… because it is You that is everlasting

that you’d sit & wait around all of eternity

on one to decide to come back to their first

it is only a rare few who know You like I do

the power You possess to breathe oxygen into a rose-wilted heart

& that losing You sucks away the very substance of air,

leaving aged & fractured hearts, thin blood, causing soul bleeds…

Your magical internal intertwining, creates weakened knees,

from the pleasance of bonding seeds… reproducing we

& You are the same, which suctions a wounded heart through kneecaps,

kissing the concrete in agony…

& still they abuse You!

until they gain wisdom, learning how jealous You are,

by all that You surround us in, so freely…

that you are the sought answer to tears, confusion & pain,

ever sought externally, yet quenched

& You Are the InDwelling from before the beginning of us

I will ever hold & trust You dearly,

knowing Your Indescribable power & delight.

Dear ‘Love’,

© 3/20/13 LeTisha.Bowie

Lift Him Up

assimilating every word obtained,

spoken through written sounds,

dispensing imagined stenches of expired bread,

& the bitterness found… all too late,

laying in dread,

childhood losses….confusion & a lovers pain,

were conveyed through His expressions…

he felt nothing in life…. he had gained,

I felt a painful stab,

as his heart bled, the soulful cries of need,

& an all too intimate story,

of the demand… for answers of a bit clearer vision

sounds inaudible, but ever so loud,

invisible to me, but clearer than the air I breathe,

He…

& the suffering of new losses,

the heaviest stones continue to pile before you,

as quick as you’ve shed them,

from air miles away,

I feel the pulsating within your thoughts,

as my belly-nerves do summer-salts,

all the unions, clubs, groups in the world,

and, this is reality “ the child left behind”

a mind’s tick-tocking clock resonates,

in a silent room,

wondering how to make it another day,

churn-seeking a resolution,

to His heart’s destinations,

for He still has hope,

Fighting against demons, temptations,

childhood & inner battles,

at times, he considers himself doomed…

My heart aches, in a need to deliver hope,

because there is a need & there’s room,

to deliver possibility- a resolution to an all too familiar song…

to deliver comfort, where between these too souls there’s so much space,

to grab him & say “You better hold on!”

Knowing my brother wants to devour this pain,

To rise up & follow His dreams,

To take hope by the reigns, and ride Her til the end of time,

In sunshine or rain

here, I can only embrace you with encouragement & love,

How can we heal this heart, which has been fractured multiple times?

in multiple places, & there’s no one to carry the fine,

a needed soul, that needs mending,

with capabilities felt, from places unseen,

I can uplift you my brother,

encourage you to hold on,

to all that you have,

to all that you own,

knowing all that’s worth value, is within your very Self,

which can give you strength to do things,

in indescribable depths,

Let go of all that “you thought” was holding you up,

because it was a familiar safe haven, & all that you knew,

because you were told what you wanted, but knew it wasn’t good for you,

they knowing your circumstances, stood on you,

watching the pulley bring you down,

sat back, never lifting a hand,

it’s time to brace yourSelf, time to take your own stand

I can assure you of the hidden HisStory,

which is,

You are more than you’ve been taught,

the time is now, to become of seeker of truth,

a conscious knowledge seeker,

determined to continue to overcome,

the HisStory that you know, is not Your own,

the King that lives within, will teach you,

giving you the power that you truly own

I lift You up!

© 8/2012 LeTisha.Woods.Bowie