Freedom

I knew you weren't the deepest 
nor largest chocolate chip in the cookie,
but you were the heart, 
robustly standing out in the pack,
& I'm a Queen...
been searching for EverLasting...
Suppose as time progressed 
& I called you King
& you looked perplexed..

Should've been a clue to the rest...
Yet you 
determined to no longer be misunderstood 
as less, 
Or pushed to the back...

Filled my ears...
my head with heart, dreams, goals, 
& the hopes that this could last..
& the deep love for your daughters,
took made my heart a gasp,
Touched me as rare, ambitious, 
With an imagery spread wide & vast...
Over spring & summer rides...
& fall conversations...laughter & smiles

Your heart captured again...
A friend...
The hidden girl- behind the world,
Behind pains & sorrows unanswered,
Buried under shattered pieces of Her piles of self...

I lifted Me for another chance 
to share My Love...My Life... My Dance...
To be your wife...to take your hand...
'Til death do us part'
You were my man...

As love bloomed...so did doom
Trying this & that... 
trying to assume
What else to do?..what else to give?...
How do we live?...this way...

But i continued to grow within mySelf,
Because I've always been a Seeker...
WithIn Me... I found refugee
You...content standing still, 
shouting demands...
Questioning My elevation... 
with your man-house stances...
Rolling your eyes at my knowledge seeking...
internal wheels in motion 
& you refused to embrace the notion 
of "such nonsense"....
"Irrelevance"
No interest at'al...
in anything i loved...
"Ugh do yo have to sing? "
"What you reading now?!"
"Yeah let me see...uh huh...is that goin' to sale?
..Why you paint stuff like that? 
Ain't nobody here gon' buy stuff like that"

No embracing or inspiration
but I inspired mySelf 
& My kids inspired me...
think Ma a professional...
"They should put you in a gallery!!"
... and they always bring daily glee!

& soon i asked Who are you? Where did he go? 
What's really....Going on? 
We've lost love...focus...hope...support...
this is no longer a home...just a house
filled with misery

You're back there & I'm in constant motion!
Seeking Me
Self
Elevation
Self-education
Forwardness...
& you're content
& you look at me like I'm clueless 
when it's you
...you could care less
& I no longer care that you don't
For my efforts have been & are useless...
with you

You placed duck tape on my mouth,
Bound my voice,
And condescended my growth....
We grew into business partners
& I've gotten fucked out of the deal
Taken care of my business for years,
Having to squeeze time in 
just to take care of Me,
but Will gives Me strength...

No touches, kisses, or hugs....
jus bitchin' 
& i ain't a bitcher,
it waste My energy...
Unless fully provoked, 
then I knew...
The road had hit The Dead End...
Don't like to be pushed to defend 
My Own InnerSelf
When you don't even know yourSelf

Wondered for a bit... 
how I allowed it to go on so long
But a fighter gon stand 
to the very last straw
Allowed My Soul to be smothered,
My kids to suffer...
Fighting the battle for love...
Remembering & knowing 
true love can conquer all...

But the dart you threw clean through my heart
Caused me to trip, fall, come to my senses... 
The sight of my own blood & soul shed,
As you looked down & walked through it
Like...write about that
...so I did

Layin' listening to the distant voices of my Wombspring
Was My blood transfusion...
My confirmation... 
of My Resurrection to Rise up for Eye Am!
A Conqueror
A Survivor
More than a mental slave of an imitation protector/provider
What My Soul pours & Reflects...
Eye will open My wings & continue to project...
I've fled mySelf to save My Life!
Your departure is welcome
Subtracting your strife,
you've given Me... My Daughter & lessons learned...
what you've given us is... 
more than you'll ever comprehend
Freedom!!!

© 10/16/12 LeTisha.Woods

MasterKey

as chunks of my heart have been chizzled away, I stand

no longer wondering how or why, as my tears dry,

I know that pieces have been chipped, but not stolen, I stand

having never understood all the wrongs

& knowing I’ve never been perfect, not singing that song,

after doing my best & giving my all

realizing it still never seems to catch the falls

Eye stand now, knowing Eye hold a key

& as wisdom elevates, so does the tissue protecting Eye Am

there’s access & a passageway leading to my heart

there are keys some grab, trying to possess…to own

gaining entry, leaving scars, lost hope & broken homes

Soul Lovers value gems, when found,

holding Masterkeys when obtained,

gaining power which stands all, to hold what’s been gained

there’s no longer an external entrance, in which My MasterKey holder can enter

you may have had temporary entry to leave cracks, tears and scars,

but any home taken again, entry comes from within,

having to possess a Master Soul of the Art of Her, the Art of Hearts

a skeleton key that’s only reached from within me

I’ve found here holds my power to stand

To demand a friend- Eye Am, A partner- No spam

There is no I or U in us or we, It’s only found in UnIty

If you happen to reach My Soul….there are treasures to hold

for I found them seeking within mySelf….

sifting the books of peace, compassion, life, love, strength & endurance,

on the shelves of my heart, still firmly grounded by ancient roots,

no entry fee….just a deep invisible Key, with no exterior entry

Seeking within….revelations of Self, finding not the heart of stone,

I thought had taken home, but a still delicate one… guarded

with no visible keyhole, because the entrance is within

…..holding dear….cherishing and caressing true friendships,

holding dreams, hope, life, ReBirths,

secrets no longer easily revealed,

no longer willing to be trampled, like week old road kill

if no one ever holds the Skeleton Soul Key to Me,

allowing them to take me places where words don’t exist,

knowing the Heart & Soul, possessing power to flow into all places,

channeling love unknown….

& where I “vaporize your fears, caress your worries, gent-kissing softly,

whispering your pain into obliviousness, neckling you mindless of blues,

into clues of nothingness….. interlacing Our souls

like grandma’s soft, moist, chocolate-chip batter concoction

Together- soul matter

soul and mind are all that matter

In the midst of our imperial hearts interfusion

we’ll make soul love magik

making lies truths

nonbelievers into apprehenders”

until then, My Heart ‘s held knowing life holds enough pain of its own,

to allow careless affliction upon MySelf

over & over, without a care in the world of the seeds they’ve sown….

until I feel your kiss from within My Soul,

catching My breathe, with cherish

King enough to shoulder my tears, peeling back the sky,

showing me Me

then I’ll know you’re In Here

Until you possess The, I know your key doesn’t fit My Heart

© LeTisha.Woods 10/5/12