Children of the Sun's Umbrella

uplifting our souls,

worthy more than our lands’ stolen gold

I hold dear each valuable Sun-touched life,

mending, broken, stolen, divided, down trodden….

I’ll always fight

I hold you withIn,  my loves…

story by tale, heart by heart, tear by tear,

each One, your hearts, I bear

with a fist full of A Love Story untold…

of A people… Ohhh too deep to hold… down

we will ever-elevate to Our true states

my sun souls…we must no longer wait

we will no longer quietly endure unjust hate

we rise to The Originals

the truth of OurSelves, seeing reality for Her wealth

Of you- Black Wombman, Black Man…Our Sun Children

We must stand

do seek always… to truly understand… OurStory

I share our antediluvian pains…

the years of unconscious & deliberate hatred that still rains

…continue to control your stance

into Our minds the true ‘sins’ did land

sprouting untruths… that we are less because of the blessings our skin,

in the minds are where these remnants remain,

continuing to try & break down relentless souls that cannot be chained,

trying to crack us once & for all,

trying to make invisible strength inherited, but we will not fall

I share our sadness

…..& Still! ….

our laughter births an incomprehensible joy,

holding an unquenchable knowing,

a fire that’s always burned…

bestowing mesmerizing shades of darkness’s….

Yes! ...we were portrayed in a bootleg show of negative nothings!

& it’s undeniable the power we clench, through it all…

reflecting Our lights that do & will ever glow an eternal endurance,

illuminating beyond it all!!

overcoming separations, after obstacles, through losses, after unjust denials

of lives, of loves…of Our rightful freedom to ‘Be’

We are Worthy!

We are The Beauty of Life,

The Rainbow of The Sun’s Umbrella,

ever-seek my loves…our ancient inner strength,

which guides us through it All again & again…

….intentionally & Mami Earth given parched lands

We can stand On…

because we are The Children of the Sun

© 3/7/13 LeTisha.Woods

Eye Am Alive

stirring from many nights of sleepless turmoil,

her heavy tear-stained eyes slowly elevated & troubled heart stilled,

she inhaled…. with the knowing of another day’s breath of life,

& exhaled with the fearful possibility of hope

rising….she methodically walks, as her mind is surpassed with thoughts…

realizing that She does have “a pot ta piss in”

& at least “a windah ta throw it out”,

drawing promise from Her soul,

because it is Here, where there’s the only presence of light!!

recognizing the wooden planks beneath Her

that may not sparkle with marble or fancy stones,

yet, “Her” Earth doesn’t peer up & through, at her,

as when she was a child,

& each step caused shifts…

smiling through its cracks, down there, waiting to catch the lil’ girl

“Her” floor’s strength, without fancied enchantments,

“does” hold Her…it holds

holds warmth from the wintry weather ….

holds coolness during summery seasons….

& holds reminders of childhood memories,

reminding Her, that these days could be worse,

today she knows she must go on

anxiety tends to dominant Her Spirit & Soul,

& her mind says, “Just give it up; there’s nothing else you can do.”….

“You can’t give...you can’t even buy what your family needs from you….”

it doesn’t matter what She tries……She just doesn’t seem to have the glue

to hold these masses of matters together,

with everything She does and all that She’s tried,

with all the heart She gives…She always falls short…

then one of many,

a young man tells Her His Story…awakening Her

to some facts known, but easily overseen by life’s loads

rousing Her Soul…

She does have a home and family…

…..at least today…

which He’s never had,

and she knows she must continue toward Her destiny,

she knows she must go on

after walking the rain, to shed tears unseen,

summoning strength incessantly, from ever & always,

meditating, praying, reflecting, being….

uplifting is all She knows to do

working, supporting, standing in the gap….

is what She was raised to do,

Being, Doing, Inspiring, Speaking is all Eye Am

 ….it is Me

Trying, Persevering is all Eye can do.

to Be the best of Me…

Even though it’s won me no medals…

won me no fame…

it’s given Me Me…

it is all that is left of Me,

after giving MySelf, for the lives of everyone else,

to be trampled, like the overlooked beauty of fall leaves;

now, Eye’m asked to give this up

again, when it’s what’s saved me before,

from the very same life’s struggles,

the struggles?

 Is that what Eye’m giving me up to defend?

the ones that never end?

time to put your children first?

“My” Miracles! They have never been anything but,

since I birthed!!”

there are many days I go on, because they’re here!

days for “mama’s” time are rare. ….

you’ve given & taken from me here,

all at one time….

the pain is inexplicable,

as I endure questions with no answers, over & over again…

I walk away once more,

living with your peculiar replays in my brain…out on a limb…

My words?  My art?

My words & My art hold me here!

these are My “only” pieces of peace!

your opinions allow no room for the cares of My heart’s purpose…

the purpose of My being,

the purpose my mind can still cling to sanity, 

now I know why you don’t care to hear the things I express,

it’s not because you don’t understand,

it’s not because you can’t relate,

but, because you feel your sacrifices should also be mine

you don’t care to know, nor do you care to feel

that these are the reflections of your days, my days, her days, his days,

our hells, our heavens, our smiles, our joys,

shone from within the stories in my way…

our pleasures, our pains, our pits, our graves, our resurrections!

our steel ladders and uprising,

lunging us from the tombs of life

Eye’m still accepting this expression of “your” love…

in Your way, because it is yours…

you again, give me words,

and Eye thank you for them… still.

Eye thank you for throwing dirt on my grave, unknowingly;

because today I still rose…

& it is still fresh, as Eye take whiffs of earth’s aroma,

as Eye, “again”, dig my way out,

still lightly & freshly covered, taking my walk;

dusting myself off, lighting an incense,

Eye begin to proofread “Eye Am Alive”

….Eye love you for you appraisal

your criticism, in my disapproval…..

today is another day, Eye’ve engaged in life’s battle,

Eye fight to go on, for My own dreams;

for a change, for a chance,

as Eye show my children how to fight for theirs.

as Eye look at my headboard fall apart, Eye smile.

working an honest Goddess’ work day every day,

Eye look at my bills overflowing onto the floor & I smile;

because Eye have a bed, and I have a floor,

as long as Eye work,

as long as Eye work to live, whatever my choice of work may be;

as long as Eye’m the example of engaging in life’s war, for The Soul’s Dreams;

as long as Eye’m the example of engaging in the battle of life, for The Soul’s Destiny,

Eye’m alive.

Eye thank you for the revelation.

I will write on.

Eye Am alive.

©8/10/12 LeTisha.Woods.Bowie

Because of You

When I can’t seem to let go of life’s venomous loves,

I take hold in combat, knowing in the future, 

as you encounter such, 

you must learn when your love’s freedom is to be claimed;

When ends management can’t seem to be met, 

I take these ends & connect them my securest, 

because, one day, you too will meet these circumstances;

When darkness violates the celestial aurora,

& my vision rest obscured,

I admit my lit soul to reflect determination,

providing preserved optimism,

refusal of death,

One day these portions may come your way…

This is your survival from within…

When morning reaches me & I’m tired of its confrontations,

I rise again & again,

taking Her hand,

knowing this wars’ success isn’t only mine,

that we will all conquer defeat…

that we all ascend!

When My anger speaks flames to injustice & maltreatment,

It’s so!

I’ll set hell on fire!!,

so you will learn not to stand for just anything.

When I channel peace & endure at calm,

& you see patience in an inferno,

My soul says be still…

In this life you must make for your own repose.

Stand Still.

Know that My frowns, My tears, 

My wrath…My Dears, 

are not for you to worry or fear;

For You are more than my reasons for being here…

You are my reasons for go---ing,

my reasons for know---ing…more each day.

my continuously grow---ing,

My Forever’s, 

my never let---ting go---ing!

My smile, after the fears,

My laughter, after the tears,

This life is only mere, 

to the lives you’ve given me for years…

My Children…The Breaths of My Womb,

My Morning’s Wake-ings’,

Evening’s Persevere-ings’,

Midnight’s Dream-ings’,

My Reasons for Live-ings’.

Urth Eagle Tisha©LeTisha.Bowie 6/1/12

To My Loves I Choose You

If my last breath is but a deep, soulful hum,
beginning a word & ending a delicate, solely letter;
I’ll leave its value to you, 
…its worth to the lives I birthed.

If I leave no millions, if I leave no gold, 
My goal is to leave no debt.
If only I’ll have the land I live, 
I’ll leave it… 
as a safe haven, in the event, you of mine need rest.

If my visions or words have inspired no souls while I’m here,
and it is only you, that hold its value,
If my voice…my songs don’t get an everlasting deal….
I’m O.K. knowing, it’s left in your hearts, as your Heaven, 
….places where it will flourish ever & radiate anew.

If I never buy you all that you desire…
of all that society has thrown in your faces,
You’re grateful, and for that, I know that I am already blessed!

If I can’t get you all that you want, 
know that I give you all that you need,
and try to give you some of your wishes, 
on this corrupt path placed before us.

If time or life takes a dogged twist, 
before I hug you once more or give you one last kiss…..

I’ll have antecedently given you My everlasting kisses, hugs, & love,
to carry within you now & for miles, of life with no end;
My Spirit of strength, determination & endurance in piles,
to soar all heights!

If I never publish a book or record a song,
I know that I’ve locked my voice & words, within the securest safes ever…
….to breath,
from within the breaths, of the souls of My Wombspring,
the sparkles of hope, superseding doubt in my eyes,
the sunshine, creeping through the clouds of fear….
the loves of My life,
my many reasons to fight;

I choose You, for all that have, all that I don’t, 
all that I will and all that I won’t
Because, You will!
To me....nothing else amounts.

You must always retain/ You are to always to remember!
You are worth All that You Are.
Never accept less than you deserve.
Know Your Worth!!
Loving you & Love you Eternally,
Mama

Urth Eagle Tisha
©LeTisha.Bowie 6/12/12

Cesspit

Full

Thoughts like pillow stuffing, pushed in my head,

reminders, notes, appointments I’m fed

Worries fit in wherever they can,

even, when there is nowhere… they are where they land

Fear of forgetting or lacking-  finances or time,

doubts of not giving enough of me, drowning Me out

Overwhelming this Determined Soul once & once again;

Hopes, dreams, wonders holding fast in my gut,

but can’t get out of this calamitous hole…

Rut.

from my gut….reflections of light seep through the darkening pit,

& each new burden, simultaneously fill My illuminations

…regurgitating this problem as it presents..

Life feeds me issues anew,

haven’t rid the sour taste prior, laying my palette

With no more tears,

I look over past years,

thinking all My choices were made, as best, as errors were corrected,

Yet I remain in society’s cesspit- a disposal of forgotten mess….

movements that are just acts of automated motions,

Only carefully thought, when involving my babies,

the reflections of hope, resembling light, remaining of My lone Self

Tired & Still,

I refuse to feel sorry for MySelf- for Me,

I know Who lies within the Depths unseen.

I “Must” continue on, in this surrounding, political shit!

Rousing & Inspiring My babies “To Be!”  “To Be!”

“To Be! Despite it all.  Fight from the beginning, Fight through it all….

Fight through the falls!  But “Be” Despite All Odds!!”

Angry, Aggravated, Pissed- Yes.

….at the Soul-Sucking Leeches,

exhausting the very survival of livelihood, of the working wo&man;

but Sorry for Me- No.

Never wanted to be rich,

Never have….

See-the rich are as miserable as broke- ones ain’t never had,

but the comfort of Contentment, Peace, Of Joy,

Of Smiles, of Yesses, and Sures,

 instead of no, not now, not this time, not this time,

not this time,

& maybe next time,

until, maybe they’ve forgotten- I hope…

but, in My heart remains the couldn’ts, Mama don’t have, didn’t haves,

Wish I could haves, wish I could…

No matter how much I work, no matter what I try to do….

I wanna say, “What’s the use?”…Work…this “life”

Fuck it all!!  At least I can spend quality time with them!!

….make My dreams Memories, Millions of feet tall….

Reality.

Knowing….I have food to supply…Medications to buy,

School to instill, so on & so on…

I keep on going

In mechanical hell…

listening to the “get it together” stories of how somebody got it worse

& how somebody had it this way, when they were a child

Well ya know, I’m sorry you had it like that

& I’m grateful for healthy children…Thank My Master every chance I get!! ” I do!!”

but this is a new day & time

It should be better;  damn it it aint!!!!

I’m thankful for My struggles as a child,

because of them “I have the memories of strength to go on”

But, I will not use it for an excuse not to want or expect more!

……& I go on praying the love channeled between my children & I will contain My sanity,

…..& I pray I’m sane long enough to see, they’ve heard & followed Ma’s words to go “up” hill

from their 1^st steps out, fighting like hell to stay at the top….

 “ If you should fall…. fight on the ground, come up fighting, but Don’t stop!” 

Once you’re on the bottom, in the middle even,….

It’s like a shoe’s heel over your head to keep you there…

In the Cesspit.

“You Be!”

5/23/12 © LeTisha.Bowie

Beneath the Keloids

Beneath the Keloids

The artistic eyes see within….

“Thick brown beautiful thang,”

into thickness created around a heart of oak,

into a soul of keloids;

Touching one….

Carrying the pain of its

“Could haves, would haves, should haves,”

… Listening to Her…

Sing the same melodies of Her grandmother…

and embracing another keloid beneath,

Underneath it lays the pain of touches,

which should have never been-

from an uncle, who should have been, a model of men in Her life;

this scar… one overlapping itself, holds much.

and seeing more scars, beneath those keloids…

of touches and demands,

from a cousin, who should have been a playmate, cousin, a friend, but

Who were his models?

and scars….scars within….of…

boyfriends of Her Mama….bastard men, who should have known better,

And, yet, had no fathers to teach them!!

The thickness that’s beyond the skin’s visual resonates,

in eyes as such,

from within the scars built up,

like blocks, only never knocked down- still standing,

as a wars defense mechanisms, against the enemies to come.

…She sees, as the line of men to come….

…no man, with better intentions, than the one prior.

So She’s still standing,

with much,

with them.

They having no stronger mentality, than the men that surpassed the others in Her life.

Trying to break Her Spirit, yet somehow,

She still Stands.

“Thicker, brown, beautiful…

Still….

She Stands.

One Day by One Day.

With Heart, intact,

Loves, Desires, Hopes, Words within….Infinite…

because, She knows the Humanity, Power, Livelihood, Hope and All

that, She holds dear, was also taken years ago, from Our Men.

Then,

instead of ReBuilding…They were freed, into mental slavery, like mad, wild-

tearing down and they held on to what was close- Their “own”,

But, we weren’t to own-

But to share, join, love with, build with You…. Wo”men”-

Forgetting without “Womb”man- they would not exist.

Having lost and forgotten all love and honor for Her…

Seeing when looking into His eyes, My Brother

When looking into Her eyes, My Sister

I see in my dreams that are Ours

It is not always me there…..

“I know that our “Could’ve, Would’ve, Should’ves,”

are intertwined with the desires of structured family …stability, 

It is for these loves… the cost is many lost dreams, which can be reality.

…that I stand

…. that I write what I see

….what my spirit speaks

from within…..”

….Both have come from me,

Wo“Man”…. Wo “Men”

I stand.

Knowing the healing beneath all of Our scars….

all of the keloids that will ever exist…..

I dream and have visions of

© Copyright LeTisha.Bowie 4/29/12

My Mother's Love

My Mother’s Love

She
Taught, as She thoroughly,
Cleaned dishes…
Spotless
we would be,
not in brand name shoes & clothes, in
Hand-made &
by hand, She made &
Molded
us to be, the Women we are…
Stong,
as She, still holding on to Her dreams, as
we
Grow into Ours
daily- She would
discipline our rights &
wrongs, not
allowing disrespect or back-
talking- to us day in and day out…”Girls should
present themselves from the inside, not the out.”….”You
respect your Elders- even those, that aren’t biologically so.” -
“They were- They are- Yours”….They’re
Mine- Treasures I’m holding within my heart, as I’m
Teaching My womb-spring the same
Ancient love,….
old as time- the love of “your” lives…
…..the love of “your” life, is to be
Treasured, like the delved up, stolen gold, of our home’s origination…..
Africa…… taken, as we, yet, never forgotten….for it’s buried…..
Deep within, like the
knowledge Mama
dedicated us, when we were mere youngin’s,
Rebelling,
Fighting back,
for what we thought, then, were the dreams & loves, of our own young hearts, being
Held captive…. &, now, We
hold on to it, like the Ol’ South’s crawfish…. to the
memories of Her every word,
Swallowing the instructed, mature fruit, which have, now, ripened in our minds, from
Dr. Mama, verses Dr. PhD, for those ancient remedies have become consciously understood…..
Accepting the lack of some things, unaffordable, back then, having no matter now,
for the gain of mental & internal riches irreplaceable, today….
Appreciation of the hand-knitted ornaments Mama made, and
pop-corn, strung garland on the tree, we all made together, for…..
we know what life’s struggle is, as….
we are living it…..and Mama still Stands as Our guide…….
Taking value, the dusting of window-
Seals the respect of new visitors, that arrive, with
visions, of the products of a
Strong Mama, who
gave all of Her, so that We could
Be the Women She wanted us to Be……

The Love of My Mother…My Mama will never…can never be forgotten, for, those young thoughts of rebellion have been replaced with what, I, a mother, today, know, was & is The Love of a Child.

Copyright ©LeTisha. Bowie 4/21/12