Reality

I still believe

in that, which was freely devoted,

even when, This Rose’s very own heart’s sap plummeted,

before Her feet, onto the cracked pavement,

any season, for no deserving reasons…

once more, I savaged my soul’s drippings,

picking, trying to decipher my hardened heart’s pieces,

from the cracked cement, through tear-binged eyes,

I warmed them withIn my cast-iron standing,

until, again, I was made whole

& I still believe

in the grandeur love,

in all that She bears, in all of Her worthiness,

just as the passing time releases each nauseating, achy memory,

wisdom sprouts within, replacing it with a still loving soul,

& an unsuppressed, blooming smile anew.

the knowledge of self-worth gained,

& stands, as the strength of a rooted, determined oak

I still believe…

…. ‘In Me’ …

I know within, where the moon dwells, until the sun shines

& the wings of my soul plays my own sweet melodies,

where my stars shine hope & inspiration ever…

I know that mere, singly, sweet words will no longer do,

that they just don’t spread onto my toast so smooth,

that…. simple fresh bouquets won’t whip the topping

of this caramel lovin’ anymore…

having grown & knowing external & materialistics

no longer reach these ribs alone,

much less to the heart of it…the ‘soul’ of my soul…

external lip movements are nothing, without the hearts deliverance,

& I hold tight to what I once called dreams, which are now called steps to my reality,

where crushed trust, tried to bury hope,

but, strong love always throws down a rope,

so that I may lift mySelf back up, with the wings of my warrior soul,

awakening opened minds to their own roots

& I still believe

in that, which was stolen by the catchers, who’s mitts were the wrong fit,

in that, which was openly shared and granted taken with no thoughts of it,

having grown & knowing the fact is:

someone else’s  giving, sometime, some place,

was also as mine….earnestly…deeply reflected

only too, to have suffered the heart-anguish, but never dying,

to have paid the fine, for a love thief’s crime…

this is a True Lover’s reality.

some will learn, others will flee

forever lost in ignorance & blindness, You see?

but once balance is met,  there’s no comparison to true love,

it can’t be devoured, the correct glove, form-fitting just right

I believe in a ‘Love’, that is ‘In Love’, with a ‘Love’ that is true…

…….in reality

& In reality, there’s no heart which hasn’t been broken,

but, there’s no broken heart, that true love can’t heal.

I’ve learned the power of loving me

& there’s nothing more exhilarating…nothing more rewarding,

than to hear my own voice, & the peace of reality,

flowin’ within the free wings of my own will.

© 2/24/13 LeTisha.Woods

AKA Soul Evoking Urth Eagle

Cesspit

Full

Thoughts like pillow stuffing, pushed in my head,

reminders, notes, appointments I’m fed

Worries fit in wherever they can,

even, when there is nowhere… they are where they land

Fear of forgetting or lacking-  finances or time,

doubts of not giving enough of me, drowning Me out

Overwhelming this Determined Soul once & once again;

Hopes, dreams, wonders holding fast in my gut,

but can’t get out of this calamitous hole…

Rut.

from my gut….reflections of light seep through the darkening pit,

& each new burden, simultaneously fill My illuminations

…regurgitating this problem as it presents..

Life feeds me issues anew,

haven’t rid the sour taste prior, laying my palette

With no more tears,

I look over past years,

thinking all My choices were made, as best, as errors were corrected,

Yet I remain in society’s cesspit- a disposal of forgotten mess….

movements that are just acts of automated motions,

Only carefully thought, when involving my babies,

the reflections of hope, resembling light, remaining of My lone Self

Tired & Still,

I refuse to feel sorry for MySelf- for Me,

I know Who lies within the Depths unseen.

I “Must” continue on, in this surrounding, political shit!

Rousing & Inspiring My babies “To Be!”  “To Be!”

“To Be! Despite it all.  Fight from the beginning, Fight through it all….

Fight through the falls!  But “Be” Despite All Odds!!”

Angry, Aggravated, Pissed- Yes.

….at the Soul-Sucking Leeches,

exhausting the very survival of livelihood, of the working wo&man;

but Sorry for Me- No.

Never wanted to be rich,

Never have….

See-the rich are as miserable as broke- ones ain’t never had,

but the comfort of Contentment, Peace, Of Joy,

Of Smiles, of Yesses, and Sures,

 instead of no, not now, not this time, not this time,

not this time,

& maybe next time,

until, maybe they’ve forgotten- I hope…

but, in My heart remains the couldn’ts, Mama don’t have, didn’t haves,

Wish I could haves, wish I could…

No matter how much I work, no matter what I try to do….

I wanna say, “What’s the use?”…Work…this “life”

Fuck it all!!  At least I can spend quality time with them!!

….make My dreams Memories, Millions of feet tall….

Reality.

Knowing….I have food to supply…Medications to buy,

School to instill, so on & so on…

I keep on going

In mechanical hell…

listening to the “get it together” stories of how somebody got it worse

& how somebody had it this way, when they were a child

Well ya know, I’m sorry you had it like that

& I’m grateful for healthy children…Thank My Master every chance I get!! ” I do!!”

but this is a new day & time

It should be better;  damn it it aint!!!!

I’m thankful for My struggles as a child,

because of them “I have the memories of strength to go on”

But, I will not use it for an excuse not to want or expect more!

……& I go on praying the love channeled between my children & I will contain My sanity,

…..& I pray I’m sane long enough to see, they’ve heard & followed Ma’s words to go “up” hill

from their 1^st steps out, fighting like hell to stay at the top….

 “ If you should fall…. fight on the ground, come up fighting, but Don’t stop!” 

Once you’re on the bottom, in the middle even,….

It’s like a shoe’s heel over your head to keep you there…

In the Cesspit.

“You Be!”

5/23/12 © LeTisha.Bowie

D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N.

D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N. by Urth Eagle D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N. D……estined to achieve-bred powerfully confident- I will fight! E…..ven when the odds are against me, will not fall and stay down T….oo beneficial to just remain idle and allow advantages to pass E….ach and every opportunity – I want to take and educate myself at mass R….ising above the average standards by all means accessible M….esmerized by life’s ill conditions, I want elevation at new levels I….ncreasing knowledge, love and dignity in human existence N…ever having the audacity to settle for today’s circumstances A…..always remembering the lessons of my grand-ma T…eaching me to “Stand tall! be wise!” and repeatedly saying, “Be I…ntelligent!” – This message she left for us all O…n this journey I have decided to stand for what I believe N….ever give up and live each day to the fullest to “my” potential….. To set an example for my royal offspring… “You can be and do your every desire, just give all of your determination with that God-give fire!” © LeTisha.Bowie 2011

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