The Mirror

the tick-tocking of the second hand on the old clock

seems to have slowed…..

or maybe stopped….

at some uncertain point or time…

as all hell breaks loose

again… in the “house”

day in….day out ,

night through….into the morning’s dew,

spoiling sunrises and sunsets,

with constant nausea from battles…

and the ticK-tocK…

ticK-tocKing reminders

of these forever unbalanced vows…

one vow of heaven & one of hell….=Two

that should have been “One”….

on into the years that passed me by….

easily roused by uncontrollable angers,

that are unBecoming of Me…

flying passed…

I quick-glanced at the mirror

noticing a reflection

and the woman I see confuses me…

I have no clue who’s looking back at me,

with her battered eyes, no smile or desire…

I stare at her questioning her unnoticed tire..

she gazes back at me in a wiry, uncaring disarray,

an unusual furiousness,

unhappily, unfulfilled misery…

I stared at her perplexed…I felt her pain…

and she looked at me as such, with attitude

like I was the one that looked rough…

I wondered what could cause her to be in such an emplacement…

what had become of this woman staring at me?

I fell downward into seat

as huge raindrops plummeted

from my dark brown eyes

I tilted my head left, looking at her,

feeling her pain

and she tilted her head with me

and she cried with me….

we stared down at the drops…..

into the puddles formed upon our laps

looking at the woman sharing my tears

in this puddle reflection….here too!!

heart-shocked!

sobbing at unrecognizable me!!

Ohh!!....

“Are you long gone?”

“Am Eye!?”

And My Inner Soul speaks,

“I tell you She’s been sleeping…withIn..

awaiting…

Your aWakening….”

“for “You” to see you…

to see the carapace  in which you’ve become…

your demeanor is his

….tone is not your own

you’ve lost Your stance

no longer floating with your heavenly  gait

& you’ve hidden sight… the Beautiful Dove that lies withIn”

surviving…

playing the role of your part …

in a house you thought would be home…

you were dressed all nice,

whispered soft delicacies,

truths revealed themselves over time

& you endured the fabrications

fighting for love that never arrived….

so You buried You withIn,

for the safety of Your Soul

& I’ve awaited the day You’d “really”  stop

look at You

So I could tell you,

Face to Face…

knowing that that Eye would knock the dust off…

awaken your pain…

arouse reality…

rewind your brain…

the time is Now:

you must see…

that physically you no longer remain

you have been broken into but a shell of a being….

surviving for the survival and pleasures of him,

gifted heartache and loneliness in return

It is up to You now….

Facing yourSelf….

You choose….

to Be a reflection of someone else

or decide if You want to Free Your Soul & release

Your Happiness….Your voice…Strength,

Your peace…..LoVingNess….

Remembering Your Smile

Sincerely,

Self

© 10/25/12 LeTisha.Woods

hisStory

long before “we” were born

we were lost in visions of unilateral beautalities…

& we are…

ere “our” time,

theirStory blanketed ours,

their truth had been bought, taught, published…..it was

and so it was digested…it was learned;

we’re living it…each of Our life’s times’ now,

as our elders lived each of theirs’

& She’s tried to present Her place…

Truth

& we continue to leave Her homeless…

going on suffering our inner wars,

having belly- toils, pain laced hearts & sick scars…

trying to cypher internal confusions brewing,

wondering why we had to sit perfectly still….for hours at stoves,

scalps sizzling, like Nana’s beef stewing,

chemical straighteners to look someone’s “norm”,

attempting & attaining unbent coils,

to appear like the acceptable, trying to outrun the eyes of our storms,

increased internal & external damages,

at any cost…. We did… We do…,

as if our birth crowns are sins…,

having stomached the sayings of “the presenters….of their truths”

we lost all adoration of Self,

“No love of Me”

Our torment…“pretty” by their standards,

not by individual true rights,

…by the measures inoculated in black souls,

completely blinding Our sight

bind-ed

not only by slave owners & masters of straight hair and blue eyes,

*got that- straight, not straightened*

But, by the comfort-ability of Ourselves!

….accepting deplorable value, by those of no higher measure,

fighting not for the beauty, the power, the love within,

the strength of ancient, of all times, where there’s no need to pretend.

Now, some seeking & conquering Our reality,

finding lost truths & connecting roots,

do so, only to have condemnation & judgment

thrown at our self-enlightenment,

from our own blood.

denial of the never-known,

of OurHistory,

knowledge of Self & Self-love,

that which was never lost to us,

but never known to us;

pain inherited…. Impregnated…

unconsciously, anciently severe…

none has chosen to be…

to be “them”, to be “you”, to be “me”

to be “us”

……we were gifted…Blessed!

yet, never embracing or conquering old fears,

nor hurt, pain, or confusion….the tears,

…the internal enslavement of Our souls for years!

it’s time to fight the oppression ….time to fend!

to break the cycles of mental & intimate slavery! Time to send…

the message:  they “thought” they were free,

& then so did we…. now we see…

…..the time is at hand.

…free on the paper and soul shackled,

externally disguised & internally confined,

fronting the part of someone else’s lie…

Confounded.

refusing to stand for freedom, to love Your Natural Beauty…

God created.

Yet afraid to demand…

to awaken in peace, In the color of your own skins,

In the puffiness of your strands, The curves of your stance,

In the erotic-luptuousness of your lips, The fullness of your hips,

The strength inherited!!

The way You were created!!

Created to remain in the image of Our production!!

….the images of our perfect, brilliant reproductions.

why must we alter us to fit the diseased minds?  …

whose mental states, refuse them the capabilities of vision,

of the beauty in uniqueness, but instead created divisions…

It’s because we’ve contracted the disease

But there is a cure...

Its name is Awaken.

Awaken from your slumber.

Recognize the spell we’ve been under.

“Such beautiful full coils, just pin it up right there…Cute.  ...skins dark and smooth….”

“You looking so good & fine my black man….You love this song too! Let’s groove”.

…..as she walked away from the mirror.

Look into the mirror.

….Into Yourself

Know Yourself.

We were created The Image of Beauty, as it exists at all.

Recognize what’s going on around us, knock down your walls.

OurStory is diminishing,

being completely replaced by hisStory

know yourself and the truth of yourStory.

© LeTisha.Bowie 8/3/12