giving up

you say you still love me
You say you still love me?

I'll never give you the, “I've heard it before” lines
because, you know that I have,
through the strength that I'd gained,
from the heartache in my past
& I've learned through life & pain,
not to hold that past, as shackles to what I'm trying to build & maintain

You say letting go is too hard to do, when you really love some one
now you know who I am, I'm always gon keep it real
there were two parts to 'this' vibration, when harmonies blended

you began to yield... to an inner self arrogance & pride
that you withheld, when there was no need for pretending,
I like shit straight to the point,
spoofing should be held, for those who choose to ride the train of 'chance'
I love the rain, but don't pull me out before I dance in it

it prevented a solid unity, creating a huge divide
you know my kind, we been here a while,
Eye Am a rid-a die, who has chosen not to remain chained,
following the bloody droplet stains of my heart,
cherishing memories from a distant beginning,
but stopping not a second longer, in this stunted ending,

continuing to digest lessons & once again, strength for elevation,
knowing the heightened fire withIn me
can no longer endure, an unsure heart,
mouldering my goals & smothering my soul's desires...
right here, right now....Eye feel you,
& wonder if you hear the repetitive notes,
producing no tunes, which play-out before they begin...

Eye listen, no longer able to hear,
no longer in anger, but in tiresome vain
I want to stand clear
of motionLessNess & soundLessness phrases & actions,
which are only vocal blurs,
on the the merry-go-bound Her's Souls seeking...
I can no longer concur, the actions that initially created a bond,
causing me to ponder, on how true love changes,
realEyezing It doesn't, if It's essentially true,
as mine has always been for the life-flight,
until left stranded by the way-side, hitchhiking,
clutching my heart in my hand, & I've gotten a lift again ….
a Soul ride....

See any facade grows old, because, it isn't truly you...
& now the thirst is dry, belonging to yesteryear,
& has roughly landed us here, at what began as One pathway,
now a broken path of two

letting go Is hard to do......
when you 'Really' love someone,
I've worn & bore the anguish of it for the past few years,
speaking to closed ears, as distance carried on its way,
creating this wedge, resting within our vibrations,
disturbing the beat & flow in our songs,
taking the flow out of the cadence, as your ear's drums....rested....
to my cries....the love ache I bled for has dried...

giving up Is so hard to do,
when you 'Really' love someone.....
but when you're post-fighting for lost compassion, comfort, & stability
& the many things unlimited She offers,
versus fighting during the fight, to hold tight, to “the love of your life”
that is what Love does....it Moves..
You......
never clung to Her invested pleasures,
taken for granted, that She would always emptily, be waiting
If so, you would have noticed our lost ways
how do you let go of something you never 'held' the value of?
for our heart's freedom & the truth of love's wings
let me fly, stop trying to taper my wings,
trying to figure out things, your soul should know
giving up was so hard to do, but I didn't have to
I noticed the vacancy in my heart,
with the slip of your hand, from withIn mine, a long time ago


© 7/30/13 LeTisha.W.Bowie

Ain't Worried

Fresh Seeds

Soul to Soul

Life-Long Winter

it's cold outside, within the mainstream of frozen stone-hearts & iceberg souls

consistently surviving these winter storms, I march on, trying to keep my pace,

trying not to fall into the cracking iced pavement beneath me,

I hike the mountains, steel-gripped soles,

with all my might, determined to peak, determined to fight,

even amongst this life-long, blizzard's coldness, that beats against my high set cheeks,

stopping...but, only long enough to notice the Sun's shine...

...long enough to notice that... currently, we're actually facing Summer's glory

& I see Her glowing, apart a quick moment,

as I have to keep my pace quick, to win this race,

which seems abnormal in growth, looking down upon weathered & beaten shoes

my feet feel bare... as bare as my heart in this second's stare...

...a second

...to steal a stare, & life appears at a stand still,

as I momentarily, stand still, knowing I still feel Winter's rage...

& Eye Am grateful for an anchored Soul,

for it is here that I go, to regain sanity's sake,

withIn... to remind mySelf that Eye Am...

that...that... this hold I must! Keep, as I feel mySelf in weak-ness

a slippery-sloped pavement's map,

a lesson to my seeds.... this life's a battle yea...

but, you have to refuse the poison of its disease-s....

its greed.....&

...some call it a living hell

& this old spirit of mine has a hell of a tale,

as 'Eye Am' replenishes Her own warmth daily,

keeping a weary heart pumping,

surrounded by a cold world, full of infected minds, trying to freeze souls

& when this body wants to succumb to the will of 'Its' death....

the beating of my ancestors' ancient drums sound off within me,

refusing my feet to become as like the hardened ice beneath us,

because, this mirage society feeds is some tricky shit,

yet, Eye am the Earth beneath my feet, the air in which Eye breathe....

the Urth that will continue on, with a Soul shrieking song,

crying out to the beating of my feet!! as they pound the ground,

with a reminder that Eye'm still in this race!

& I continue on consistently,

though I will not always, consistently continue on “this way”

& I hold to the internal conflict of ….

a “once upon a time” weariness.....of Her life's struggles

… the refuge of “the soon to come,”

melting away of the the external frozen slivers,

greeting her destination, before another frozen soul emerges ice

© LeTisha.W.Bowie 6/22/13

Blind & Deaf

speaking to deaf ears

mouths a constant, overflowing dumpster

corner-shelves of drawn shit,

awaiting the funk monster to dispose of it..

quickly, before the repetitive refill

standing still,

stagnant,

yelling to broken spirits & deaf ears,

overfilled for years...

with inactivity

& I beat the drums of ears softly,

with Our wails, until they become shriekkksss!

Our rivers of tears spill, from My heart's tip,

onto pages & pages

enraged!

Eye peer through tear bubble-filled scopes,

looking around Us

“We have to awaken!”

...become a part of 'The Rising'

in 'this' reality,

which 'is' a southward spiral of a Divine race...

we chant, we argue, we plead...

of this new day,

of the great unity taking place,

yet, Yet to be seen...

but not only are present ears deaf,

the delivering eyes must be blind,

to the increasing innocent bodies lying

of our men, wombmen, children...

we're continuosly finding...

by the wayside,

day by day by...

& My Soul's ears mourn, to the distant Mother's wail in the wind, for a child gone too soon,

& My Soul's heart outcries, with the Father around the corner, banging the door railing, for a son gone to soon,

& My knees surpass my ankles, hitting concrete pavements, to the moan of grandparents

who lost their child too soon!!!

& sit awake at night wondering why We can't see,

how magnificent the power of Our Love in a multitude could be...

...the rapes, molestations, the diseases

this shit ain't on decrease family!!

& speaking unity ain't nothing,

if we ain't supportin, & upliftin Our Brethren!

...only a sermon, being flushed out to sea,

with the rest of the gradually washing-out ,

man-made, religious mental slave mentality

looking passing seekers by,

looking our spiritually broken Sisters by,

looking our mentally tired Brothers by,

shouting unity over their heads....

cus they ain't got the grammar down,

cus they don't sound all educated, conscious & fly

My Soul breaches Blood & pours pain...

over & over again,

watching Blood dog Blood...

& yeah, I've heard...

“Just cus they black, don't mean they blood”

but what Eye do know is....

live long enough to find out Who you are

& you'll remember what color you are too

…..when you're out trying to survive in this world...

“Oh there will come a time”

...when you will be informed... of just who you are

You just better know...

& Blood gone always be Blood...

Rooted.

“& You will remember, regardless of your shade,

You gone always be Black.”

& go on

sadly,

hindering Our unity

spoken to the communities

unconscious of one fact

a circle goes round & round...

“How much longer do we chase our tails rotating it?”

...degrading the very faces, facing us in the mirrors

One another

Our Ancestors Love...

getting nowhere, we're losing grip

while, trying to grasp It

the truth of Her Love,

...Her knowledge....Her treasures

Antediluvian.

Impregnated, withIn the deepness of all that We seek,

we'd rather watch Our brothers dirt-smother,

in the pit of this corrupt shit,

than to lend a hand, for fear he may rise above,

instead of rise beside you...

as One...

It's time for Us to get a grip over OurSelves

if you ain't bout Ours,

back back, so we can take Our positions,

It's time to be bout this mission

time has shown & does tell,

no one else ever will

write a few lines, spit a pile for the Mother Earth's Crew,

gotta get into Our Souls and do what we need to...

heart, soul & feet

else all talkin remains in vain

& that new name means nothing

to a child who has no idea what is means,

who can't get a job, due to the same ol mobs blocking pro-gress,

who ain't got a dime, in a society that don't give a damn...

determined to keep us rammed in the hind,

don't give a damn whether we live or die,

watching & laughing.....

as we fight, kill & belittle Our own kind

stompin & dumpin Our every move...our every effort

as Our people walk by, heads down, faking pride,

tear-stained souls, unable to break the keloid pain barriers,

unable to feel Our voices,

to feel the leaders...

because there's no walk, to Our talk

Blind Eyes, Deaf Ears

Freedom

I knew you weren't the deepest nor largest chocolate chip in the cookie,

but you were the heart, robustly standing out in the pack,

& I'm a Queen...been searching for EverLasting...

Suppose as time progressed & I called you King

& you looked perplexed..

Should've been a clue to the rest...

Yet you determined to no longer be misunderstood as less, 

Or pushed to the back...

Filled my ears...

my head with heart, dreams, goals, 

& the hopes that this could last..

& the deep love for your daughters,

took made my heart a gasp,

Touched me as rare, ambitious, 

With an imagery spread wide & vast...

Over spring & summer rides...

& fall conversations...

laughter & smiles

Your heart captured again...

A friend...

The hidden girl- behind the world,

Behind pains & sorrows unanswered,

Buried under shattered pieces of Her piles of self...

I lifted Me for another chance to share My Love...

My Life...

My Dance...

To be your wife...

to take your hand...

'Til death do us part

You were my man...

As love bloomed...

so did doom

Trying this & that... 

trying to assume

What else to do?..

what else to give?...

How do we live?

...this way...

But i continued to grow within mySelf,

Because I've always been a Seeker...

WithIn Me... I found refugee

You...content standing still, 

shouting demands...

Questioning My elevation... 

with your man-house stances...

Rolling your eyes at my knowledge seeking...

internal wheels in motion 

& you refused to embrace the notion 

     of "such nonsense"....

Irrelevance

No interest at'al...

in anything i loved..

"Ugh do yo have to sing? "

"What you reading now?!"

"Yeah let me see...uh huh...

is that goin' to sale?..

Why you paint stuff like that? 

Ain't nobody here gon' buy stuff like that"

No embracing or inspiration

but I inspired mySelf

 & My kids inspired me..

.think Ma a professional...

"They should put you in a gallery!!"

... and they always bring daily glee!

& soon i asked Who are you?

Where did he go? 

What's really....Going on? 

We've lost love...

focus...hope...support...

this is no longer a home...

just a house filled with misery

You're back there

& I'm in constant motion!

Seeking Me

SelfElevation

Self-education

Forwardness...

& you're content

& you look at me like I'm clueless 

when it's you..

.you could care less

& I no longer care that you don't

For my efforts have been & are useless...

with you

You placed duck tape on my mouth,

Bound my voice,

And condescended my growth....

We grew into business partners

& I've gotten fucked out of the deal

Taken care of my business for years,

Having to squeeze time in just to take care of Me,

but Will gives Me strength...

No touches, kisses, or hugs...

.jus bitchin' & i ain't a bitcher

,it waste My energy...

Unless fully provoked, 

then I knew...

The road had hit The Dead End...

Don't like to be pushed to defend 

My Own InnerSelf

When you don't even know yourSelf

Wondered for a bit... 

how I allowed it to go on so long

But a fighter gon stand to the very last straw

Allowed My Soul to be smothered,

My kids to suffer...

Fighting the battle for love...

Remembering & knowing true love can conquer all...

But the dart you threw clean through my heart

Caused me to trip,

fall,

come to my senses... 

The sight of my own blood & soul shed,

As you looked down & walked through it

Like...write about that...

so I did

Layin' listening to the distant voices of my Wombspring

Was My blood transfusion...

My confirmation... 

of My Resurrection to Rise up for Eye Am!

A Conqueror

A Survivor

More than a mental slave of an imitation protector/provider

What My Soul pours & Reflects...

Eye will open My wings & continue to project...

I've fled mySelf to save My Life!

Your departure is welcome

Subtracting your strife,

you've given Me...

My Daughter & lessons learned...

what you've given us is... 

more than you'll ever comprehend

Freedom!!!

© 10/16/12 LeTisha.Woods

Higher

Higher

written for the performance "The Naked Truth" in Alexandria, La

group of collective Poets & Poetess' "Poetic Expressions

at the Alexandria Art Museum

Canopied in the warm bed of your embrace,

The tick of the ol grandfather clock 

hasn't the second to tock,

And I'm chocolate laced, 

within the taste, 

of your lucious lips upon my face,

As you trace...

my favorite plaaa-cccesss,

I'm entranced... 

by your spell-binding stance, 

Which claims a matching demand to mine,

And my inner song smiles,

to touches tender,

From kisses depth....&...lips to necks....

Soul's breathes...

hissing through clenched teeth knockin', 

To our bodies rockin', 

Temperatures reaching a higher peak,

Wonton becking....& we pull closer,

Which we can't get to, 

without your throbbing, 

entering the pearl of Her gates...

Her heart's palpating wet,

And I...

I kiss your pants with quickening desire,

Knowing you feel this fire,

As your rock ready, knocks steady, 

on my breast, standing at your attention,

My belly...thighs...eyes

Control lost

Voices soft...gasps hard...

more

As we continue to explore

Every inch

I'm melting beneath your licks,

Quivering mid soul's flames

throat moans had been held,

Now conquered by your love's spell,

As you take me higher...

I exhale cum in my love,

To the grip of trembling thighs, 

Pulling you inside... 

I...

Umm...gaa-aspP

as you bite-moan my evey location,

No longer are we at the same elevation...

Higher even...

I say cum....in

my humble abode

One...

And we create love moanin' harmonies,

Slip, slide, you dip, I drive...

Licking...squeezing...pleasing Ourselves

And you cradle me tightly,

Filling me with All your goodies...

GoodNess! 

Inhaling the silky smoothNess

Of your exhal...

                      ing my name

"Let it rain..."

And  

     We 

           pour....

Layin withIn the Love we made

Ummm Hmmm

(C) LeTisha.W.Bowie 5/21/13AKA UrthEagle Tisha

How Much?

How much truth is in the dreams you sing? Into my ears... Sounds of ol school remixes, that my hips sway to still Making an ancient Lover's Soul harmonize in duet, To the melodies, of vibrations long ago, but presently felt Swooning how you'd deep laugh my tears away, Bathing me in temple kisses,  deep, hearty squeezing's missings, Be my everyday, sweet homecomings,  morning's, noon's & midnight's Lover, Honey

Whispering the caresses of a lone bod,  Delicate winging my womb with you, My baby dimple thighs smiling hellos,  As you taste My Yoni Lovin' overflow...

"Yes" is your reply, on replay, & I say...How much is truth in the life you speak? How long will it last? This pamper-Do... Would you really last the EverLove so True? ... longer than the last?  Or will my lovin' too, overflow your song atlas?

.....because, you say you see what they can't,  what they saw too late... "Do you know if you can love 'One' forever at this rate?" Because that's what She is.... Love. ...Forever

Your song... My unsung melody... In a tune that's been a soul's song unlived? Believe/Believe? 

To risk another fracture,  upon my keloids... To risk more pain to heal?

Can We fulfill Two wanton Soul's desires,  Of fires still lit, despite hits & misses? To eternally drench One's Souls  with the unselfishly given,  again?

Can We join flames, lightning dark days  & warming cold nights? Inner fires nesting, plenty good kindling, Planting blooming Love anew,  each season For no other reason,  but Love Because, there's no better reason No feeling more pleasing...

How much truth is in the dreams you hum?  into my open Soul's ears... My Soul composes the melodies of My dreams, Which live in me,  & I labor Her birth, Bearing repetitive Braxton Hicks contractions, Now skeptical to let her loosely, In a world where gifting pain comes so easily... Once taken for the slaughter,  She ran back withIn To safety....yet living strong

So.... I want to know if your songs, your hums,  If your melodies are reality? Or do I continue withIn the safety of my dreams, Awaiting the Soul Conductor, to my composition, With a love that touches the pit of my Being,  Swimming all that I Am, reaching the sea withIn Cus my Love's dream song's real,  & this One I intend to Live

(C) LeTisha.W.Bowie 5/20/13  AKA UrthEagle Tisha

Deep Touch

The touches remembered, yet years ago passed,

that time has replaced…

center a transparent, cold tempered glass,

I smile, reaching for the comfort of your tender warmth…

your embrace…

grasping for your shoulders, your waist…

your arms, your face…

and suddenly…

looking into my hands, at the emptiness which has been placed,

as my heart awakens to the realization of void’s presence…

She tumbles through my knees, to my feet,

to the null expression...the mask that used to hold your face...

but, this Queen’s Soul still has a demand what for what She needs,

as I look at a man I once knew,

yet in front of me no longer stands,

at a shell remaining, of “once upon a time, ” in some other land…

only memories… as life has shifted,

we drifted…

playing the part of lovers,

living the lives of business governors,

filling occasional needs that are long overflowing,

filled, but not fulfilled…

which can never replace the ‘deep touchin' my soul’ kinda lovin'

that thick, in the midst of midnight tears kinda lovin'

that unexpected pain....

....time rotating, lastin' the years through it kinda lovin'

that inevitable everyday strife of this life kinda lovin!!!

because, It Is! ….Lovin’s Deep Touch,

Her Fire's belonging, that holds Souls up!

It is the withIn light, that shines, permeating the darkness..."O Love!"

& I say withIn... that’s what’s up

as I peer into empty hands,

with empty answers filling my ears,

I am Love...

I Must be filled

if by chance you ain’t hearin’ me,

continuously, backing away from this full-course meal,

you know I always keep it real,

I’m gon’ speak it a bit brassier for ya…

so you can hear the deal...

I’m a Queen awaitin’ a One of a kinda King,

that's about that Forever Unity Seale,

......that can fill (feel) me

& ‘One’ Love that I can deep feel (fill)…

with The Deep Touch

greeting withIn the depths,

touching wounds that love heals,

One who who has a Lover's time,

to relax and unwind We,

Swallowing hell all up in Our heaven...

I'm waitin on My Number Seven.

©LeTisha.W.Bowie 5/2/13